All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
