lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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