guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize