6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
