I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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