i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
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I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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