i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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