She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
