i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I can't put those talents on a resume
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
