Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
