Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
