everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
