are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
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