Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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