so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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