i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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