we have officially mastered the walk of shame
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I AM VODKA MAN
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
