You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
