I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
