She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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