Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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