we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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