Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
vagina is talking i cant
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize