just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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