THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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