he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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