that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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