I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Randomize
