Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
50% drunk capacity currently
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
