just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
