I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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