This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
