why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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