You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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