If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
we should paint friendship bongs
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