Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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