Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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