remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
