we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
