You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
