I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
