Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize