I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
