I wanna bring you to show and tell
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
