i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
