I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
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No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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