You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Operation Purity has been aborted
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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