so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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