Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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