fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
