Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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