smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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