Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
