I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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