i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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