I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
