i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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