I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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