I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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