I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's blow job season.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
