I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
