I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
