you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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