I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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