Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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