I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
