Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
