Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
