Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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