I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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