She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
