So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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